Cry A Little
by PlasmicFemale
Summary: ColePhoebe song fiction based on Faith Hill’s song, ‘Cry’. Twenty minute scrawling - what I wanted Phoebe to feel.


Disclaimer: I don't own anyone, don't sue me.  
  
Summary: Cole/Phoebe song fiction based on Faith Hill's song, 'Cry'.  
  
A/N: I'm not sure why I did this, I'm not usually a fan of songfics. But the truth is, this song seemed to define a lot of what I thought season five seemed like. . .so I spent about twenty minutes scrawling this down. I guess it's what I wanted Phoebe to do.  
  
* * *  
  
Phoebe climbed into the car and glanced at the clock. Nearly eleven o'clock. She had been sitting in front of that computer for the whole day, and she hadn't even realised how late it was. She sighed, leaning back against the leather seat, her mind drifting back. It had been a week ago that Cole had been vanquished. A week. And she still wasn't able to get him out of her mind. She felt nothing, absolutely nothing. No relief. No sadness. Nothing. It was as though her emotions had been turned off, and she had no idea why. She shook her head. It had to be relief. She was glad he was gone, wasn't she? She started the car and pulled out, before switching on the radio.  
  
* * *  
  
If I had just one  
  
Tear running down your cheek.  
  
Maybe I could cope  
  
Maybe I'd get some sleep  
  
* * *  
  
Phoebe reached out to change the channel, but something inside her stopped her hand suddenly. A pang of emotion. A wall breaking down. She reached out and increased the volume.  
  
* * *  
  
If I had just one  
  
Moment at your expense  
  
Maybe all my misery  
  
Would be well spent  
  
* * * * *  
  
She clenched her fists around the wheel. Taking a deep breath, she forced the urge to switch off the radio. Forced herself to listen to what she never wanted to hear. What she had refused to tell herself.  
  
* * *  
  
Could you cry a little  
  
Lie just a little  
  
Pretend that you're feeling  
  
A little more pain  
  
I gave now I'm wanting  
  
Something in return  
  
So cry just a little for me  
  
* * *  
  
Phoebe slammed off the radio. She pulled the car over to the side of the road, her knuckles white as she squeezed onto the steering wheel. Her eyes were clenched closed, willing herself to ignore the words. She stopped, opening her eyes. Why? Why pretend that it wasn't true when it was? Because it was, she realised. She had cried for herself. But had she taken the time to cry for him? Had she ever taken the time to feel for him? Was that the realisation she was waiting for? The realisation that maybe this wasn't meant to be easy. That maybe she was supposed to feel grief. Heartache for the love that she had lost. Anguish for the man she couldn't save. That she wouldn't save. She reached out and turned the radio back on, the song filling the car.  
  
* * *  
  
And you'd cry a little  
  
Die just a little  
  
And baby I would feel  
  
Just a little less pain  
  
I gave now I'm wanting  
  
Something in return  
  
So cry just a little for me  
  
* * *  
  
She let go of the steering wheel, placing her elbows on it and laying her head in her hands. She breathed in deeply, her eyes closing tightly as she recalled his face. His smile. His eyes.  
  
* * *  
  
Give it up baby  
  
I hear your goodbye  
  
Nothing's gonna save me  
  
I see it in your eyes  
  
Some kind of heartache  
  
Darlin', give it a try  
  
I don't want pity  
  
I just want what is mine  
  
* * *  
  
She clenched her fists, leaning back again. She saw his face. Heard his voice. Felt his pain.  
  
* * *  
  
Yeah... Could you cry a little  
  
Lie just a little  
  
Pretend that you're feeling a little more pain  
  
I gave now I'm wanting  
  
Something in return  
  
So cry just a little for me  
  
Yeah... Cry just a little for me  
  
* * *  
  
She listened as the song faded into silence, and a new one began. She reached out slowly and turned off the radio, tears lining her eyes. She was still trying to fight it. Fight the emotions that hadn't arrived until now. But she couldn't anymore. She couldn't pretend it didn't mean anything. She couldn't pretend he didn't mean anything. She bent her head over her hands and let her emotions run free. She let her feelings loose.  
  
She cried.  
  
* * * 


End file.
